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About Me

Big Brother 2012 house mate, single Dad, actor, singer, personal trainer, stripper, adult entertainer, public speaker, activist, columnist, presenter and former secondary school teacher. Canadaphile, Francophile, atheist, fighter for freedom and tolerance, real child protection, sexual liberalism, European integration and abolition of the monarchy.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

YOUR QUESTIONS: You state on formspring that you are not interested in gay sex 'at this point in your life' but on Adult Work you state that you 'never have done gay porn and never will' here you contradict yourself? It's referring to porn but the sentiment is the same?

I will never do gay porn. I don't enjoy watching gay porn. No problems at all with the act, I just don't find it visually stimulating. I like watching heterosexual sex and enjoy the dynamics it offers that homosexual sex does not. I have always said I will only do porn that I myself would watch. I find it hard to understand that you can't see a difference between what one is happy to do in a porn film and what one would rather indulge in in the privacy of their own home, if indeed they choose to. Indeed, I have plenty of 'gay' fans who frequently tell me they do not enjoy watching gay porn.

YOUR QUESTIONS: You don't identify as straight, Do you suffer prejudice of your family and straight porn actors? Remember straight actor Danny D did gay porn (Matt Hughes)

No, I don't suffer any prejudice really. I make my view on sexuality widely known. My family are totally cool and have always been. I've only had criticism from one numbskull porn 'actor': I don't let it or him bother me. Beyond that, I don't really know of the last time I received any attacks relating to my position on sexuality. People disagree with my view, but I rarely hear from numbskulls of that ilk.
I know Danny D, I know of him doing gay porn, beyond that I know nothing else. At the recent SHAFTAs, Ben Dover made a comment that I believe was directed either at Danny D or possibly myself about people doing gay porn. I was openly critical of Ben and the homophobic remark at the time and I will say it again: Ben Dover is a homophobic cunt. 
While I may have a view on human sexuality that many disagree (both many 'homosexuals' and 'heterosexuals'), I always fight against homophobia where and when I can. Disagreeing with the labels we give ourselves does not mean that I cannot fight for the right for anyone to practice a life that they choose and not be judged badly for it.

YOUR QUESTIONS: So if someone's a vegetarian, should it be stated they have vegetarian preferences? No it's a collective name for people who like to live their life in a certain way.

There are a couple of very practical reasons as to why someone who chooses not to eat meat needs to notify others of this position and therefore chooses to adopt this label:
i) In order that those who are involved in the culinary preparation in catering for these individuals do not furnish them with something which they cannot consume.
ii) The rejection of meat is often not simply a preference but for moral reasons i.e they are against the killing of animals or because they believe that human beings are not designed to be carnivores (an argument I have heard before, although not entirely convinced by). Homosexuality is not usually a rejection of the opposite sex as such, particularly along moral or political lines. It is simply a preference towards the same.

Sure, there are some very militant vegetarians who use it as means of identifying exactly who they are and allowing 'vegetarianism' to be the defining factor in their life.
Many vegetarians use the term in order to notify others only in the event that they are asked or in relation to their dietary requirements.
There are very few, if any, reasons why someone who practices a homosexual lifestyle, ever needs to declare that they ARE to anyone. I understand the desire by some, and some of the historical reasons as to the pressure to do so and, in some cases even the necessity, to find an identity that accepts them. This is often also the same for some within the vegetarian fraternity, finding solace in those who think and practice the same. But the matter of sexual preference is really only relevant to those with whom you practice these sexual or romantic activities. Even then, the need to say 'I AM GAY' seems redundant. If you are doing 'it' (whether that be sex or another level of intimacy) with someone, it should become obvious unless lines of communication have become completely blurred. You see someone (which in this case will most likely be within an environment of people of a similar preference, although in no way does it have to be), you fall for each other, you take it to whatever level you are both comfortable with and do what you both enjoy. At what point does the enjoyment of acts of a homosexual nature ever have to be your defining identity?
If people are using the term "I am gay" loosely, simply for ease of conversation, for speed and to make their intentions at that time pretty clear, it carries few repercussions on the rest of us and on society at large.
If however, someone says "I am gay", in the sense that "this is who I am, what I am, it defines me and everything about me, what I like, what I don't like, what I wear, what I say" then this is where the identification and ownership of the term becomes hi-jacked by a small minority who, through their actions, ostracise, segregate and comparmentalise homosexuality into an exclusive, almost members'-only club, This goes against natural human sexuality and thousands of years of sexual pliability and takes away the ownership of this side of all our potential sexualities, This is in my mind damaging to our general acceptance and understanding of the ACT of homosexuality as something that is perfectly natural, something we can (although we don't have to and may not want to) all explore without the need for it to be a defining factor in our lives, except for the fact that we are, simply, SEXUAL beings.

YOUR QUESTIONS: You contradict yourself? If you said that whilst you have a preference to women you can never say you'd never do anything with a man because it's about the person not their sex but you state that you would categorically never do anything with a guy?

Not sure if you're trying to put words in my written mouth, have a bad memory or just haven't read properly what I have previously written. Please, please, please identify and re-quote where I have stated that "I would CATEGORICALLY NEVER do anything with a guy".

YOUR QUESTIONS: In regards to smoking/obese teachers; that's an atrocious example because teachers who smoke do not make money out of it, it's not their profession!? Yet if a teacher was the head of a tobacco comp and endorsed it the GTC may take a different view?

If you honestly believe that the reason I was dismissed and then reprimanded was because I received money for what I do, I think you will find that you are living in, what is commonly referred to as, 'Cloud Cuckoo Land'.
With respect, you were neither at my dismissal proceedings by the school or the GTC hearing. So, rather than hypothesising as to what the GTC may possibly have been considering, let me furnish you with a few facts: At no point at an time during either my dismissal or the GTC hearing was any reference to the receipt of money for my activity ever made. The GTC made absolutely no reference in either its preparation papers against me or in its prosecution during either of the two days of the trial. I quite expected that it might, but it did not.
So despite what you may think the GTC to have thought, a problem with the receipt of payment has never been raised, but simply a criticism of the activity itself: its impact on the school, its students and the extent to which a teacher can be a good example and 'role model' while doing this in their life outside of school. This is exactly why I bring up the entirely relevant examples of obesity and smoking (amongst others) as activities which receive little or no criticism from the authorities or many in society and yet both have proven links to thousands of deaths (what more negative an effect could there be than DEATH???) and yet pornography has no proven negative effects.
Even if your argument about the receipt of payment was true, let me use a real example that you may appreciate and understand. One of my colleagues of the school I worked at also worked part-time in a pub. Obviously, they received payment for it. The school knew of it and had no issue with it. Alcohol is a legal drug in this land which can be purchased from pubs. This person was therefore supplying, to those who consented and are of a legal age, a legal drug. Some people question the morality of the consumption of drugs (both legal and illegal) and some religions oppose it. Even the parliamentary independent scientific committee deemed alcohol to be THE most dangerous drug, out of all legal and illegal drugs, based on both the impact to the individual and on society at large. As a porn performer, I helped in the production of a legal form of entertainment in this land, which is supplied to consenting adults of a legal age. Both of us were in receipt of payment for our services. Both of us carried out these activities outside of school. Neither of us promoted these activities within school time or to minors. Alcohol, however, is proven to be linked to the deaths of thousands of British citizens every year and to the admittance of thousands of young people to emergency departments every weekend as a result of binge drinking. These are direct proven links. Many hypothesise about the potential harm that pornography may have on its consumers. However, nothing is proven. Indeed, some even argue it can have positive effects. These are not proven either. Either way, it has no proven negative effects on anyone and is certainly not proven to be directly linked to anyone's death.
The GTC and the school I worked at clearly had zero issue with whether or not I was paid for the activity. It was with the activity itself and with the fact it had become public knowledge.

YOUR QUESTIONS: Haha you're not answering my question. Are you interested in lady's or men.

I am answering your question, but your question is making a statement that I do not recognise. A sexuality is not an identity. A sexuality is based on something you do: i.e. who you fall in love with, who you have sex with. These are all verbs. I am human. Humans are sexual. Beyond that, we as individuals have preferences in what we do or don't do. I am not a sexuality and not defined by who I choose to have sex with or fall in love with. In this respect, I have already answered your question.

YOUR QUESTIONS: You oppose the classification of 'straight' and 'gay'. You answered one question saying you "practice straight sex, but are not straight". Are you in any form attracted to men, then?

Yes, I find can find some men physically attractive. I am not blind. i recognise beauty. I recognise things that are visually appealing to me. A beautiful man is a beautiful man. I can find that appealing and attractive. Do I want to have sex with him? No, at this stage in my life, I don't. Equally, I would never say never or rule anything out. I could fall madly in love with a human being who happens to be a man tomorrow. The logistics of the sex I would have to deal with. I might even enjoy it. But right now, I love having sex with women. I don't want a relationship with anyone. I see beauty in individuals not genders.

YOUR QUESTIONS: I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and he's suggested introducing 'others' into our sex life for the first time. Which could be hot. Do you think that ending the monogamous nature of our relationship would put out loving stable relationship at risk?

It can be risky, it can be very beneficial. It needs to be something you both do with the same level of agreement and comfort. You need to constantly communicate with each other about your thoughts and feelings and if ever one of you is not comfortable with something you must say straight away. It can potentially a whole new level of excitement to your sex life and possibly improve your relationship even further.

YOUR QUESTIONS: Accepting glamour/porn has a relatively short shelf life, where do you see your career going? Back to teaching?

I'm not really considering teaching, no. But I would never rule it out. Perhaps more in production, or having an agency, working more on the campaign, perhaps work within the media.... who knows?

YOUR QUESTIONS: Given the change in direction you've had career-wise, do you think you work harder now or before, when you were teaching? Fiscally speaking, which is more rewarding?

Depends what you mean by 'hard' work. Teaching probably required far more man hours and preparation than what I do now. Both provide satisfaction. Teaching offered stability and a regular relatively decent income, but I earn more and have the potential to earn even more doing what I currently do.

YOUR QUESTIONS: Also you say that there's no such thing as straight/gay/ etc then please explain to me... You like women and you would never do anything with a man? So therefore you are straight. That's the collective name for people with your preferences?

There is 'straight' and 'gay' sexual behaviour/practices. An individual is not and should not, in my opinion, be classed as either 'straight' or 'gay'. I practice straight sex, I am not myself 'straight'. When you become the personification of a sexuality, it becomes an identity of who you are and therefore something that is very difficult to change. Less so in your mind, more in the minds of others. More importantly, it is unhelpful for society at large to understand the natural pliability of human sexuality if groups of individuals are attempting to take ownership over large aspects of it. We do, we are not.

YOUR QUESTIONS: Where is the strangest place you've masturbated ?


YOUR QUESTIONS: I'm sorry but it makes you look really stupid because you are almost trying to over-complicate a simple issue, sexuality is not society pigeonholing us, it's just a collective name for one preference.They're saying we cannot change our preferences at all?

Then I am obviously too stupid to answer your very badly worded question. So I won't bother.

YOUR QUESTIONS: I'm female and in the US, and I've been thinking about turning to porn as an option for a while. I've finally decided to take the leap. Do you have any advice for how I should do this or where I should start?

I do not the live in the US and have never worked there. So, no. My advice, however, would be to make sure you have given it very careful consideration and thought about how it will impact on all aspects of your life before even attempting to take the leap. If it is what you really want to do, then good luck to you.

YOUR QUESTIONS: Porn is not what sex is like when you first experience it at all. Yes the mechanics of it; the penis goes into the orifice (whatever it may be) are more plain to see. But are you telling me the majority of porn scenarios are similar to real life?

No, of course not. But its porn. Its not 'real life'. It is, as I said, a form of entertainment. It is there to entertain, to arouse, to tititlate, to excite... its not there to educate, even though, sometimes it does. Equally, films are not there to show me real life. That is not their function. Young people are not brought up in isolation. If we lived in a society that was far more open about sex generally, then dealing with the topic of porn, by parents and teachers, from an early age, would mean they are equipped and able to recognise the difference between it and reality, because, according to you, they are all such numbskulls and chimps to realise it on their own.

YOUR QUESTIONS: We ask questions and you answer them, true. Equally true is you cannot be held responsible for the answer's perception in the questioner's mind. That said, however, we are all aware if we are being inflammatory, mundane or even slightly provocative.

Provocative is good. Nothing wrong with that. 

Inflammatory? About what, whom? 

Mundane, well, that is your perception. We can all be mundane. 

None of those have anything to do with being patronising or conceited.

YOUR QUESTIONS: So you don't think the answers you give here are patronising and conceited? Might I suggest you get a friend to have a look at them and let them independently advise you? It seems your sense of objectivity is, perhaps unsurprisingly, lost.

Obviously I do not. You ask me questions, I answer them. I cannot be held responsible for the reception you give my answer or how the words and sentiment appear to your eyes and mind. I thought you were attempting to have a debate along more 'academic' lines. If you are you wanting to make cheap personal digs at the quality of my answer then I'm afraid you may continue to be disappointed with any future responses you receive.

YOUR QUESTIONS: Do you ever read the answers you've provided on here and think you sound patronising and conceited?


YOUR QUESTIONS: Porn gives children a distorted view about sex which can be damaging later on. Also many parents may lose faith in you, if you don't respect their children's innocence, because you are basically saying that you think it's OK for kids to access porn.

Many things give children a distorted view on life: mainstream media, fairy tales, religion, music, fashion, films.... At least in porn they see what sex actually is rather than seeing a Hollywood representation of it which is often wholly unrealistic and setting false expectations in our minds. I thought sex would be like how it was in the scene in Top Gun. its not, believe me.
Firstly, no-one is 'innocent'. Human behaviour is complex and we become sexual beings and sexually aware at very young ages, porn or no porn. Children are not the innocent little beings we want them to be. We have to deal with the REALITIES of young people's sexuality and not try to create some fantasy existence that we wish to keep them in. I think its absolutely fine for anyone to view anyone having sex. SEX is normal. We should be normalising it MORE, not less. Demystifying it, not shrouding it in greater clouds of mystery and suspense. That attitude is far more damaging to our young people as comparisons with our European neighbours demonstrate. The UK has the highest rates of STI and pregnancy amongst young people in the whole of Western Europe. The Netherlands has the lowest. Young people in both countries have equal access to pornography. The difference is national attitude to sex, an open-ness about it and a perception of it as being something we should embrace and treat as normal. The problem is NOT porn.

YOUR QUESTIONS: After having worked in the adult industry and having 'insider' knowledge of all the trials and tribulations of a porn star, how would you react/think you'd react if your Son was to show interest in following in your footsteps?

We have talked about many times and I often get asked. My answer is always the same. Get an education, get skills and explore the world first. If, at some point in your life, after having considered all the implication and how it could impact on all the aspects of you life, you wish to go into porn, (a legal industry in this land), then that is your choice as a free-thinking, law-abiding adult and I support you. 
If I as an adult, patron and consumer of pornography, am prepared to watch other people's sons, daughters, brothers and sisters, having sex for my entertainment and enjoyment, I must too be prepared to accept a member of my own family doing it too. If I have no moral qualms with enjoying and financially supporting, why should I have qualms with my loved ones being in it if that is what they so wish?

YOUR QUESTIONS: Good Sir, Don't You Sometimes Feel Like Giving Up Your Job As A "Model" And Becoming A Teacher Again ? Basically Do You Miss Being A Teacher?

I do miss being a teacher, yes. But I have closed that door. It was a great period of my life in many ways, but sometimes its best to keep a door shut, at least for a while. In many ways, I am a far more effective educator in my current position than I was in a school.

YOUR QUESTIONS: What about the young boy who sees some porn star with a 10 inch dick and thinks that's the norm, and then he loses confidence and feels inadequate. Porn does not show normal sex between normal human beings, therefore it can be damaging,

I don't personally know any porn 'star' who has a 10 inch dick. I watch porn and have seen a variety of dicks and a variety of vaginas. I also a variety of bodies, ethnicities, size. If I want, I can find porn with old people, with fat people, with disabled people, with midgets. Can you direct me to a music video or fashion magazine with any of those people in? 
I am a 'normal' human being. All the people I have sex with are 'normal' human beings. Equally however, pornography is a form of entertainment, Where are the 'normal' human beings in Hollywood or even Bollywood. There all slim, gorgeous, attractive young things. Porn has its stereotypes but it also breaks the mould far more than mainstream media.
If that young boy, who has been illegally watching porn (why have his parents been allowing it?) based his body image on the porn he watches, my advice would be do widen the range of porn he watches! He will feel much happier about himself. I don't care how big Ron Jeremy is in the trouser department, there's no way I would ever wish to look like him!!!

YOUR QUESTIONS: And do you not consider the consequences of children who put their trust in you and see you as a responsible adult that they can confide in stumbling across your online material? Would it not erode your authority in class?

I have sex. I masturbate. I have no problem with anyone KNOWING this or even if they happened to see it. Both acts are totally natural. If you are ashamed or embarrassed, the problem is yours, not mine. Welcome to being a human. Try to embrace it, not fight it.

YOUR QUESTIONS: Do you think it is right that children of a young age are increasingly having access to pornography; resulting in them growing up too fast?

The whole world has more ready access to pornography. I do not see a link between children seeing consenting adults in a state of sexual intercourse and excelled maturation of that minor. By seeing, they may have increased knowledge of the act of sexual intercourse. If increased knowledge is 'growing up too fast' then why would I oppose it?

YOUR QUESTIONS: Children should be separated from the world of pornography until they are mature enough to understand it, because it gives them false information about sex, they feel the need to measure up to Porn actors, you promote porn... The GTC is wrong.

This is not a question. However, let me put this question to you. Do you think I walked into the classroom and got my penis out or gloated about doing porn? I made no mention of it. Children should be protected from certain things but not seeing human beings copulating! Children should be separated from the harmful effects of smoking, but we don't tell teachers who are smokers they cannot teach. Children should be seperated from the life threatening effects of a high fat diet, but we don't tell teachers who are fat that they are bad role models and should not be allowed to teach. Children should be seperated from the evil, devastating and cruel effects of religions, but we don't turn to teachers who are Christians, Jews or Muslims and say that what they preach and practice does not gel with what we teach as a school and you should therefore not be a teacher. There are no proven negative effects from the viewing of people having sex. Nothing proven at all. Violence in whatever context is always wrong. Non-consensual acts of any genre are always wrong. Sex, talked about, seen, heard, is not, in my opinion wrong, for anyone of any age to witness. Get a grip, grow up and get a perspective, Deal with the real threats to our young people, not the unproven and the hypothetical which are largely knee-jerk reactions by the prudes, the pompous and the God-fearers.

YOUR QUESTIONS: At 16 where did you think you would have been in 20 yrs, in other words what were your dreams and aspirations?

Up until 16 I always wanted to be an actor. By the time I was 16, I wanted to be a social activist fighting for the rights of oppressed peoples. I was reading a lot about Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, slavery, Gandhi, the Holocaust, apartheid, etc. I wanted to change the world.

YOUR QUESTIONS: How is it possible for one person to be able to teach Citizenship, PSHE, Politics, Sociology, RS, French, German, History and Geography?

I guess its called having half a brain, a keen interest in various things, plus the inability to say 'no' when the school increasingly asks you to be its bitch. I didn't teach them all in the same year. The most subjects I taught at the same time was in my last year: Citizenship, PSHE, Politics, Sociology, Religious Studies and German.

YOUR QUESTIONS: How do you relax?

Watching QI, lying in the bath or a good wank. OR all three together!